My soul is always singing. No matter what mood I'm in, my soul has a song. Sometimes it's uplifting, sometimes it's a song of surrender, sometimes it's there just to help bring on the tears that need to flow... but it's always singing. In good times as well as trying times, it usually comes back to this chorus:
"Then sings my soul, my Savior, God, to Thee... how great Thou art, how great Thou art!"
I choke up just thinking about it. I learned it as a little girl, and cling to it as a woman. It truly is one of the theme songs of my life. That's right, I have theme songs ~ and background music.
Music moves me. No, really, it does. This is something that most people don’t quite understand about me. I once saw a sign that said the problem with reality is that it doesn’t come with background music. I disagree. I have background music… always.
My mom doesn’t understand this; she accepts it, but can't identify with it. We can go to a restaurant and I’ll exclaim, “I love this song!” or something similar, and she’ll have no idea what I’m talking about. She doesn't notice the song. The music they are playing in the background is actually in my foreground. I hear that above anything my dining partner is saying to me. My son shares this affliction with me… it’s nice to have someone around who ‘gets it.’
I recently watched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy that was set to music (sung by the cast). I was blubbering like a baby less than six minutes into the program. Yes, the storyline was powerful but that wasn’t what got to me. It was the song… I continued crying throughout the show. Yup, from beginning to end. When it was over, I was wrecked. I had to download a couple of the songs and sync them to my iPhone ~ which is played in my Jeep whenever I’m in it.
Movies? Forget about it!! If a movie has an awesome score, I’m apt to give it a thumbs up… even if the movie stinks. It’s happened. I apologize. I’m in therapy for it. John Williams is my therapist. (For those of you who may not know who John Williams is, I’m truly sorry. You need to look it up… really… look it up.)
For me, there is no shame in singing loudly… in my vehicle… with the windows down. I will never be the next American Idol, but I do sing better than the average person, so I don’t mind giving the cars around me a personal concert. If what I’m singing doesn’t match their personal preferences they are more than welcome to close their windows.
I can find a song for just about any situation in life. No matter what it is that I’m going through, I can find (and fixate) on a song that fits whatever I’m going through. I often won’t let people outside my home know what I’m currently fixated on, because I don’t let anyone get that close to me (it's true, you can only be burned so many times before you learn to fear the flame). All someone would need to do to discover where my head and my heart are would be to get my current playlist.
I won’t give away my whole playlist, but I’ll give you some examples:
- The Story ~ originally done by Brandi Carlile, but I prefer the Grey’s Anatomy version sung by Tony-award winner Sara Ramirez (This is currently my favorite to sing at the top of my lungs in the car.)
- Walkin’ After Midnight ~ by Patsy Cline… classic!
- By Your Side ~ by Tenth Avenue North
- Welcome to the Black Parade ~ by My Chemical Romance (My kids still marvel that their mother knows this song and sings it loudly in the car.)
- Nessun Dorma ~ sung by Luciano Pavarotti, from the opera “Turandot”
- Chasing Cars ~ by Snow Patrol (I have the Grey’s Anatomy version as well… I like the harmony in their version.)
- With All I Am ~ by Hillsong, such a beautiful expression of surrender to God.
- The Show Must Go On ~ by Queen (I also love the one from Moulin Rouge!)
- Ghost In This House ~ sung by Alison Krauss… haunting & beautiful.
- Volare ~ by The Gipsy Kings (So much fun! And yes, that’s how they spell their name)
- Come Home Running ~ by Chris Tomlin... because I screw up all the time and constantly have to go running back to my Lord's arms.
- One Night Only ~ from Dreamgirls, sung by Jennifer Hudson... soulful (Another one that I sing at the top of my lungs in the car... It really hits the spot!)
- Firework ~ by Katy Perry... who doesn't love this song?
There are several others, but you can see from this list that my tastes are somewhat eclectic. My former pastor calls himself a musical schizophrenic… I think that I may be suffering from this disorder as well.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that if we should happen to find ourselves at TGI Friday’s someday and you see my eyes glaze over and I seem to be ignoring what you’re saying, it’s simply because I hear the music and it takes over my entire being. You may want to simply be thankful that I don’t burst into song in the restaurant… I really do try to have some self-restraint in that area.